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Schoolchildren watching laughably dated video made in 2004

A CLASS of GCSE schoolchildren are sniggering at an ancient educational video made back in the depths of 2004, they have confirmed. 

Year 10 pupils at Tewkesbury Academy are suffering through a hilariously old-fashioned video with painfully poor CGI filmed in a bygone era before AI or YouTube even existed, and are expected to learn science from it.

James Bates, aged 14, said: “Oh my God, did they even know science back then? Or were they still banging rocks together hoping something would happen?

“The presenter’s hair and clothes are a side-splitting giveaway. Who dresses like that? ‘Milord, please cast your favour on my skinny jeans and Ugg boots, prithee.’

“And look at the state of the cheesy, poorly-rendered CGI graphics. Were people back then actually blown away by shoddy subsurface scattering? It’s like looking at a cave painting done by a PlayStation 2.”

Classmate Lauren Hewitt agreed: “It doesn’t just look bad, it’s using problematic terms like ‘global warming’ and seems to believe recycling will make a difference which is actually offensive?

“And it just… ended? The presenter didn’t ask us to subscribe or leave a comment to boost engagement, there were no insets of other videos about science or promoting racial hatred ready to autoplay, you couldn’t scroll to the next one. So primitive and hilarious.”

Teacher Mr Bishop said: “I’d love to show them the videos from the ‘70s I watched in school. But they would not survive them.”

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Prince Andrew: 'Thank God the letter where I say "I, like you, am an enthusiastic paedo" hasn't been found'

PRINCE Andrew believes he is fine as long as the letter where he bonds with Jeffrey Epstein about their shared love of underage girls has not surfaced. 

The discovery of an email from the Duke of York sent in 2011, a year after he claimed to have cut off contact with Epstein, saying ‘we are in this together’ and ‘play some more soon’, has left him unperturbed because it is far from the worst.

He said: “It was on official Palace paper as I recall, bearing the Royal crest. One must do these things properly.

“I said, to the best of my recall, ‘I certainly enjoyed my visit to your island where I had congress with a number of girls I knew were under the legal age and had been trafficked. Mm-mm, what a treat!’

“‘Don’t worry about being charged with solicitation of prostitution. Your real friends, like myself, Bill Clinton and Donald J Trump, have always been aware this is who you are. And we love it.’

“‘Anyway, just for the avoidance of doubt I, like you, am an enthusiastic paedophile. Or as you spell it ‘pedophile’. Same crime though! Yours, His Royal Highness Prince Andrew, Duke of York.’ Then my signature, my seal and my fingerprints in red ink.”

“I hope that one doesn’t get out. But if it did I could easily clear it all up and restore my image by doing a second interview with the Maitlis woman.”

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