Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Twat with stupid car finding lockdown perfect opportunity to be extra dickish

A MAN with a fast, noisy car is treating the quiet roads of lockdown like his own personal racetrack.

Nathan Muir, who owns a mint green Citreon Saxo with lowered suspension, has been driving around his hometown of Swindon pretending he is Vin Diesel in The Fast and the Furious.

Neighbour Tom Booker said: “He drives like a bellend at the best of times, but usually he can only accelerate for about 10 metres before he hits a traffic jam.

“Now there are so few cars around that he’s taking the opportunity to try and reach 70 miles per hour before reaching the end of our cul de sac, which he does several times a day.

“I have asked him if his trips count as ‘essential journeys’, especially as he usually has a car full of dopey lads that definitely don’t live at his mum’s house with him and he told me to ‘get f**ked’.

“Be a shame if his tyres got mysteriously slashed.”