Unlikeability no barrier to success

MORE unlikeable people than ever before are gaining promotion at work, it has emerged.

According to new data over 86 per cent of senior staff lack warmth or the basic ability to connect with other humans.

Bar employee Wayne Hayes started out as the unlikeable glass collector, progressing to become the unlikeable barman before taking over as unlikeable manager.

Customer Emma Bradford said: “It’s hard to say why he’s so unlikeable. But he really is.

“He’s really sarcastic but he doesn’t get jokes. That’s definitely one of the main reasons.”

Barmaid Nikki Hollis,who has worked with Hayes since he started, said: “When the old bar manager left, Wayne was interested in becoming the manager straight away. He’s the type who wants to be in charge of people.

“Which is one of the many reasons none of us really likes him.”

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Employees to be booed at work

FOLLOWING Luis Suarez’s brace of goals against Manchester City, employers are to incentivise workers by arranging similar abuse.

At offices and factories up and down the country, workers will be booed, hissed and barracked by colleagues so that they do a better job.

Tom Logan, who works for the Land Registry department in the Civil Service said: “After a 70 minute commute, nothing inspires me more than being told I’m a ‘wanker’ and ‘buck toothed scum’. 

“It makes me think to myself, right, I’ll show you. I’ll register twice as much land today.”

Donna Sheridan, an employee at a call centre dealing with internet service provider complaints said: “Experiencing abuse on the phone all day and being told I’m a useless slag who works for a barrel of piss company was energising enough.

“However, having my own superiors boo me, spit and throw coins at me gives me the adrenalin burst I need to exceed productivity targets.

“I think to myself, if Suarez can do it without even biting anybody, so can I.”