RACHEL Reeves has advised you to create loving memories with money while you have it because who knows what will happen in the future.
The Chancellor told the public to make the most of the scant time they have left with whatever money they possess, because time goes by in a flash and there is a budget and before you know it that money is all gone.
She continued: “Think of your disposable income as you would a beloved grandparent or your dog who’s showing signs of age and it breaks your heart but won’t last forever.
“Give it a bit of a send off. Take a selfie with your bank balance. Take it on one last sentimental journey of the shops you used to spend it in. Do enough for a tear-jerking montage to a heartbroken Adele song.
“Go for one last meal out and tell your money how much it’s meant to you over the years. You may have had a fraught relationship at times, but it will seem idyllic looking back. In a few months. After unspecified actions.
“And don’t forget to tell your money that you love it. Or when it’s gone, bounding through international markets to service national debt interest, you’ll wish you had.”
Tom Booker from Lancaster said: “I’m going to blow my money on as much coke and hookers as it can afford. It’s what it would have wanted.”
