LABOUR has this morning announced new curbs on immigration, but are they racist enough? What would be? We ask registered bigot Norman Steele, aged 73:
Ten years for residency: racist enough?
“Not nearly enough, no. We’re letting these people in to do a job, not live here. If the electrician took ten days to sort out the wiring, would you be obliged to let him move into your spare room? Exactly.”
Forced to speak English: racist enough?
“Not even close. They’ll still be speaking their heathen tongues behind closed doors to their families, and being bilingual is fundamentally un-English. They need electroshock therapy to burn any other language out of them before I’d even consider it.”
Leaving the European Court of Human Rights: racist enough?
“Approaching sensible. Is this a Reform policy? But still leaves room for conceding foreigners are human, which our radical leftist judges will leap through hoops to do. We need an English Court of Human Rights founded on the truth that only the English have them.”
Mass deportations of anyone foreign-born: racist enough?
“Now we’re getting somewhere. I presume you’ve been talking to Andrea Jenkyns. But they’re wily, you see, your foreigns and some of them will try and wiggle through a loophole by having lived here for three generations. That’s not the Brexit I voted for.”
Mass deportations of all of them: racist enough?
“I like the definition of ‘them’. That seems flexible enough to accommodate my needs. If you accidentally deport anyone I’d like to stay I’ll speak out and tell you. Don’t expect that to happen much.”
UK depopulated by approximately 18 per cent, economy collapses, Tommy Robinson swept to power and announces alliance with Putin: racist enough?
“Aye, that’ll about do me.”
