Politics

THE Johnsons, those fascinating creatures native to these isles, have once again engendered a simultaneous pregnancy and political scandal in order to reproduce. Here’s how it works.

DOMINIC Raab is walking away from politics to take up one of the countless offers from employers who want an inept bully on staff. Here’s his CV.

ANYONE claiming to harbour crushes on Penny Mordaunt, Angela Rayner or Dishy Rishi Sunak has been asked if they have heard of models, porn stars or actors.

A SPEED awareness course is not the only class where the home secretary decided it was easier to take the points. There are other glaring holes in her education...

THE ‘woke blob’ of civil servants which terrifies Daily Telegraph readers can only hurt you if you believe it is real, it has emerged.

A CONSERVATIVE MP is teetering on the brink of gulping down a bowl of raw sewage live on TV, it has emerged.

THERE’S now a desperate shortage of fruit pickers and lorry drivers, and if there was any justice in the world Brexiters would have to do it. For their benefit, here’s how cause and effect work.

SUELLA Braverman, by the powers granted her as a non-white Conservative, has granted you as a white person exemption from guilt. Collect your card here.

JACOB Rees-Mogg, Priti Patel and other shitheads who would never be employed in any reasonable government have announced they want their old boss back.

PENNY Mordaunt has confessed she was off her tits on recreational narcotics while holding the sword at the Coronation.