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Reform conference makes rest of Britain appreciably better

Why shouldn't I pamper my pets? asks Lord Alli

THE multi-millionaire Lord Alli has asked why he should not give his Labour party pets the best in clothes and apartments.

Rachel Reeves to replace every picture in 11 Downing Street with Thatcher portrait

Sue Gray earns £63,000 more than Starmer gets in freebies

THE prime minister’s chief of staff earns a shocking £63,000 per annum more than he is receiving in declared gifts, it has emerged.

Independent Scotland could have been exactly the same, say experts

IF Scotland had won independence ten years ago it could have been exactly the same in every way, according to experts.

I will change government policy for a good quality men's jacket. By Keir Starmer

I REALLY need a winter coat, so if you’d like to buy me one – a £950 Canada Goose would allow me to do my job effectively – then pick the law you don’t like.

I pay Lord Alli back in feet pics, says Starmer

We ask you: which prisoners would you like Keir Starmer to release next?

THE prime minister has affirmed his commitment to locking ‘em up is matched by his commitment to letting ‘em out early. Who do you want to see released?

Being right-wing will keep you nice and warm, Starmer tells pensioners

KEIR Starmer has told pensioners worried about their winter fuel allowance that being furiously and impotently right-wing will give them an inner glow.

The optimistic Labour voter's guide to f**king hating them two months later

WERE you not expecting miracles from Labour, but are now justifiably annoyed at how shit they actually are? Here’s how to cope with it for the next five f**king years.