Politics

LIZ Truss is planning to follow up being the worst prime minister in 50 years with the shittest possible political comeback, she has confirmed.

THE UK is out on its own as a major economy facing recession, and out on its own due to a choice made some years earlier. How are you pretending the two are unrelated?

MEDICAL authorities have warned that the Boris Johnson that Britain suffered from 2020-22 is not over and could yet cause immense damage.

THE Zahawi tax scandal has not affected Conservative popularity one iota because the entire country made its f**king mind up long ago.

NADHIM Zahawi has demanded that since he is sacked from the Cabinet because of his tax, he wants the £6 million back.

THE Tories have lost Rod Stewart, but does that mean it’s all over for them in the crucial 1970s soft-rocker demographic? We asked the greats.

‘WHY hasn’t Zahawi resigned?’ ask the media, and I laugh. Honestly, if I dismissed him for that where would I be when you find out about my tax avoidance?

WHAT’S the use of a population that spends years sitting around doing f**k all? Here the Department for Work and Pensions explains the reasons behind the new age hike.

NADHIM Zahawi is happy to be investigated as long as the media do not discover his private island with his likeness carved into a cliff-face.

GAMMONS are thrilled that the government blocking the gender recognition bill has annoyed weirdos and put uppity Scots in their place simultaneously.