Politics

Brexit hardman vs actual hardman: Who will win?

TORY MP Steve Baker is a self-styled Brexit hardman, but can he hold his own against a genuine thug? Thanks to the Isle of Dogs Boxing Club & Gym, we found out.

It is unacceptable that Northern Ireland is separated from us by a sea, by Mark Francois

BACK in Neolithic Britain, when everyone voted Conservative, there was no sea between Britain and Northern Ireland. Who put it there? The EU.

Therese Coffey filmed smoking turnips

THERESE Coffey has been secretly filmed shredding and smoking turnips for what she claims is the ultimate British high.

I will personally fellate Red Wall racists: Keir Starmer's five missions

YESTERDAY I set out Labour’s five missions for the future. Now I’m asking you to join me as we build a new Britain in which every bigot is fellated and no flag goes unshagged.

Scottish man had forgotten his country's tradition of fervent religious bigotry

A SCOTTISH voter had almost forgotten his country’s long-held tradition of cold-eyed religious bigotry until Kate Forbes came along.

Brexit still not quite f**king done

THE prime minister is in Belfast this morning to work through a few minor finishing touches on the Brexit deal that was done and dusted in 2019.

Scotland secretly relieved it won't have to do independence

SCOTLAND is quietly relieved that, with the departure of Nicola Sturgeon, this whole independence thing will be considered dead and buried.

Sturgeon prepared to hold second resignation if this one doesn't work

NICOLA Sturgeon is prepared to take a second swing at resigning if this first attempt does not pan out, she has announced.

Arseholes delighted

THE most repulsive political commentators in Britain are delighted to hear that Nicola Sturgeon has resigned, it has emerged.

Why I'm a centrist who always ends up backing right-wing policies

PEOPLE often say to me, ‘Martin, why do you bother calling yourself a centrist when you always take right-wing views?’ They just don’t understand the benefits of centrism.