Politics

Your guide to creating a b*llocks Brexit slogan

NEED to convince people to vote for your terrible Brexit deal? Get them on board with a deeply patronising slogan. Here’s how.

Corbyn still thinks the internet is educational

JEREMY Corbyn is promising the nation free broadband because he still believes the internet is an educational tool, it has emerged. 

Boris Johnson's flood advice for commoners

APPARENTLY some moaning minnies are unhappy with my handling of the floods, but I say they just need to show a bit of pluck and spunk! Here is my advice.

A guide to Tory spending vs Labour spending

THE Conservatives and Labour are locked in an escalating battle over spending. Who is promising you personally the most? 

We'll have to clean our a*ses like cats after Brexit, experts warn

BRITISH citizens may have to learn to sit on the floor and lick their backsides with one leg in the air post-Brexit.

'I cannot stand that pr*ck a minute longer' says Tom Watson

TOM Watson has quit as deputy Labour leader because he cannot stand that self-satisfied pr*ck Corbyn for another minute, he has confirmed. 

Are you too thick to vote?

THE election is underway, but are you too bloodyminded and ill-informed to vote sensibly? Check you’re not one of these people.

What politicians would say if they could swear on telly

POLITICIANS love a good back and forth but sadly, a lot like a soap opera, they can't ever swear at each other. But what would it sound like if they could?

Six weeks and you can start impregnating again, Boris told

BORIS Johnson has been advised to rein in his urge to impregnate women until the general election is over.

Jeremy Corbyn's foolproof guide to losing an election

ARE you the leader of a political party trying to beat the most awful government in recent memory? Here Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn gives his advice on stuffing it up.