Politics

REFORM UK have confirmed that they will stand only XL Bully candidates in the next general election.

RISHI Sunak has confirmed he is delaying the general election until autumn because he is very much afraid he will lose it.

AN irritatingly right-on child has asked for an end to consumer culture for Christmas, it has emerged.

RISHI Sunak is dreading being grilled by his in‑laws over when he intends to get a proper job with prospects during the Christmas holiday.

RISHI, Boris, Michael Gove – I thought these people were friends. Allies. But make a mere £60m profit from a national crisis and it’s a different story.

THE newly appointed minister for common sense has advised the public if they vote Tory after the last 14 years they ‘need their heads examined’.

BARONESS Mone has explained that she instructed her lawyers to repeatedly lie about her involvement in selling faulty PPE because she is innocent of any crime.

ALL small boats crossing the Channel have halted their sailings immediately after the Rwanda bill passed its second reading.

WHAT have we come to when a five-year-old tot is begging his father to stop uncontrolled immigration? It’s disgusting that such a true thing should definitely have happened.

WHO are the same few right-wing lunatics once again threatening to bring down the government over bullshit? We wearily re-introduce them.