Let's move to the set of Bridgerton built by the slave trade! This week: Bath

Jane Austen lived here briefly and hated it. But if you like narrow streets clogged with dawdling tourists taking photos every six feet, you’ll love it.

Mash Blind Date: Prince Andrew and the grateful, celebrating nation he'd like to love him again

BRITAIN: riding a wave of beer-soaked nostalgia for our monarch all week. Prince Andrew: ready to be taken back into our hearts. Can it happen?

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

The fact that you still have plans this weekend suggests cancel culture actually hasn’t gone far enough.

The Archbishop of Canterbury on... the Sue sodding Grey report

GAINING consciousness in a skip, having failed to reach my chambers after a wine-drinking contest with Cardinal Nichols turned ugly, I urinate for a full 22 minutes then head home.

Nothing gets him hornier than when he gets away with something. So I'm not there

HE’LL come in angry. Hit the Zinfandel. Mutter to himself. Start laughing. Then, because he’s got away with it again, he gets the raging horn. That’s why I’m not there.

Don't have windows: energy-saving tips from a penny-pinching expert

AS I walk through the streets, saving money as ever by paying for neither transport or a gym, I chuckle at the houses wasting energy by having windows. What fools.

Let's move to a bleak West Midlands town with a museum celebrating industrial revolution poverty! This week: Dudley

In the heart of the industrial wasteland of the Black Country, Dudley’s wonderfully affordable for anyone hoping to raise children with laughable accents.

Mash Blind Date: 'Everyone else in the restaurant seemed disgusted I was dating a fleshlight'

PORN fan Tom Booker, 27, meets a fleshlight modelled on the vagina of a legendary star of adult entertainment. Will he find the sexual connection he’s dreamed of?

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

What a tangled web we weave when we tell one person we can’t come out to the pub tonight because we’re tired, and another person that it’s because we can’t be arsed.

The Archbishop of Canterbury on... Platinum Party at the pissing Palace

What kind of a docile cabbagebrain is gonna extract a morsel of entertainment from this line-up from Bleeding Obvious Hell?