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THIS time of year sees university towns infested with students, all being ripped off for nasty accommodation and piss-poor education. But not me. I’m thick.

NATURALIST and filmmaker Sir David Attenborough, aged 96, is known for shows including Life on Earth and Frozen Planet II, but not his murder of Tupac Shakur in 1996.

AN entire generation grew up venerating The Stone Roses’ eponymous 1989 album, but is it an all-time classic or psychedelic shite? 

When David Brent was musing on nearby towns in The Office, he said ‘There’s nothing wrong with Maidenhead. Not Maidstone – that is a shithole.’

BRINGING a sense of adventure to the bedroom: there’s nothing worse. This is sex, not a fucking log flume.

New on Netflix: My Octopus Supply Teacher. Like My Octopus Teacher but this time the guy just fucks around and hands out wordsearches until the bell rings.

HEARTTHROB, popstar and now actor Harry Styles has, like many of us, always suspected he may be a vampire. These are his reasons.

COULD it be? Could Liz Truss, the underdog’s underdog, roar from her hobbled start to become the greatest prime minister ever? If she does everything I say?

IT’S quite the thing for power couples like Big Dog and I to take a sabbatical. So, after three bloody hard years, we’re having a break from Downing Street.

IT’S regrettable and you should really be more mature, but sometimes there’s no denying it: you want sex.