Arts & Entertainment

Paddington, and other unusual targets of Prince Harry's memoir

DETAILS of Prince Harry’s bombshell memoir have been announced, including these unlikely targets of his unflinching rage.

Man’s romantic playlist creates unrealistic expectations for quality of sex he can provide

A HUSBAND’S playlist of erotic mood music promised far more than he was able to deliver, it has emerged.

Monty Don, and other celebrities your mum would leave your dad for in a heartbeat

YOUR parents have been happily married for years. But if anyone of these blokes tried to woo her, your mum would chuck your dad in an instant.

Bugsy Malone, and other plays your school made a f**king awful production of

WERE you involved in your school’s drama department? If so, you almost certainly helped stage a truly terrible version of one of these shows.

24 Hours To Birmingham: five songs that don't work with UK cities

THERE’S a good reason why classic songs don't involve British towns and cities. Try singing along to these without feeling mildly depressed.

Glastonbury Festival now Center Parcs with ketamine

GLASTONBURY has become so expensive that the only people who can afford it are middle class twats more used to blowing hundreds of pounds at Center Parcs.

'It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea': deep profundities to find in TV theme tunes

LYING on the sofa hungover, watching repeats of old sitcoms or childrens’ TV? You’re actually a philosopher like Socrates. Professor Joseph Turner explains why.

King to take relationship with Harry to The Repair Shop

THE King is to star in a special episode of The Repair Shop where he takes his relationship with his youngest son in to be fixed, it has been confirmed.

Mum decides to be famous millionaire children’s book author

A MUM of two has inspired dread in everyone she knows by announcing that she has written a children’s picture book and is going to get it published.

Third act, inciting incident, deus ex machina: seven phrases bellends use when describing films

FILMS are either ‘cool’ or ‘shit’, yet morons insist on describing them using these types of irritating phrases.