Arts & Entertainment

BEARS might be able to get by with the bare necessities, but the rest of us need money to pay for crap like bus fares and council tax. Here are the Disney songs that fail to address the grinding misery of life.

THERE’S celebrating your regional identity and there’s boring people shitless with it. These Northern bands veered well into the latter.

YOUNG people with their trigger warnings and wokeness have destroyed music, says 68-year-old Roy Hobbs. They can’t play these songs on the radio now and it’s a crime.

IT'S weird how some songs are hailed as classics when their slung-together, senseless lyrics would put a five-year-old to shame. Like these piles of mumbo jumbo…

YOU assume glamorous TV couples end up having great sex. But what if it was a nightmare of erectile dysfunction and frigidity? Here are the sexual problems they probably had.

MUSICIANS love getting out an obscure instrument that no one actually likes to prove how multi-talented they are. Here are some bands that went too far.

HOLLYWOOD is obsessed with remaking films, but having run out of classics they’re now churning out shit like Willow. And soon probably these too.

CHRISTMAS is a time of goodwill to all men and massive pay cheques for certain musicians, such as these.

GROUPIES don’t just have sex with band members willy-nilly, they have a strict and logical ranking system in place. Here Nikki Hollis reveals the sometimes surprising order of shaggability.

NOT an expert in cryptography? Then you'll have minimal chance of working out what these musical geniuses are on about.