Arts & Entertainment

GUINNESS World Record holders are not glamorous heroes but generally weird freaks who live with their parents, it has emerged.

IT has dawned on a 34-year-old man that he is by far the most ancient and desperate person in a heaving night club.

TV execs think viewers want to immerse themselves in the lives of boring celebs, people with any sort of job, and outright weirdos. Here are some you could definitely live without.

EVER loved a song until you heard it being murdered by 10,000 pissed-up football fans? They’ve probably ruined these others for you too.

EVER feel like you should grow out of shit chart music and try to get into jazz? These albums will put you off very quickly.

THOUGHT you’d check out an exciting new comedian or play at Edinburgh, only to discover you’re the only person there? Here’s how to cope with the embarrassment.

FROM camping outside for eight hours, to blocking your view in increasingly inventive ways, here’s how youngsters are ruining concerts.

IT’S that time of year for articles entitled ‘The best jokes of the Edinburgh Festival’. Here standup Martin Bishop talks you through his favourite incredibly laboured gags.

THE number of genuine Scots resident in Edinburgh has hit a new August low of three, surveyors have confirmed.

HIP hop is 50, tired, has nothing new to say and makes a little yelping noise when it has to get up out of an armchair, it has emerged.