Arts & Entertainment

ACCORDING to the Christmas special, Doctor Who shagged Harry Houdini, something William Hartnell strangely never mentioned. So which other historical figures did the Doctor pork?

THE new series of Gladiators will include a father sitting in the background quietly ogling the female stars while hiding his excitement under a cushion.

THE BBC has repeated the 2006 Jools Holland’s Hootenanny every New Year’s Eve since and nobody has noticed, it has emerged.

MATT Hancock is appearing in Mother Goose at Crewe Lyceum – oh no he isn’t! But he’ll surely be reduced to doing panto next year, along with these former cabinet colleagues.

IF The Great British Sewing Bee can get a Christmas special, The Walking Dead deserves one. These should be watched annually by families.

THERE’S always one dickhead at a party who wants to demonstrate their years of dance lessons. Here are some other attention seekers who gravitate to the centre of a dance floor.

AUDIENCE members at a sell‑out Christmas pantomime have confirmed that they only enjoy theatre they know in advance will be shit.

AN alternative Christmas playlist filled with credible indie artists performing cool festive songs is being enjoyed by precisely nobody.

THE true crime genre has exploded recently, but in these shows dense criminals always make the same mistakes to help the police out. Here are the things they can’t stop doing.

TAKING your precious darlings to a form of entertainment more usually attended by the working classes? Here’s how to explain what the hell is going on.