Arts & Entertainment

SOME films think they merit a whole trilogy, often with instalments lasting three f**king hours. But why waste your time watching them when most can be summed up in a text?

ENJOYING listening to a good tune? Here's an element that's about to assault your eardrums and put you right off it.

CHASING a shag? There’s no better way than boring your partner into desperate measures with a three-hour subtitled movie about weighty matters, like these.

A WOMAN who has made a point of not being sucked into watching Love Island strangely seems to know every detail of what is going on. 

‘THE Beatles’ is a band name so embedded in popular culture no one ever mentions what a f**king awful pun it is. Here are some more terrible names we’ve all ignored.

ANIMATION allows filmmakers to create delightful, surreal worlds. But as live-action, some movies would become distinctly nightmarish. Such as these.

THE Oscars have announced this year’s glittering Hollywood celebrity slapfights to take place live on stage.

THE Apprentice has got a lot to answer for, besides putting several hundred hours of excruciating twats on television. Like these annoyances.

OKAY. The Oscars are bullshit, dude. For a truly mind-blowing movie experience, smoke this and watch these, writes stoned film critic Lauren Hewitt.

TELEVISUALLY, Americans are better than us in every way except they can’t do reality. These are their cardinal errors.