Arts & Entertainment

Cult leader issues new decree to followers

THE leader of a rabid, fanatical cult last night issued a new decree to her international army of acolytes.

Ladies and Gentleman We Are Floating in Space, and other albums that are unlistenable without drugs

TRIED listening to Spiritualized for the first time in two decades without the aid of copious amounts of weed? Best avoid these other albums too.

The moron's guide to being constantly surprised by Antiques Roadshow

ANTIQUES Roadshow viewers appear to be thrilled by the same things happening every week. To get the most out of the show, these entirely predictable events should shock you to the core.

Relight my Fire, and other hit songs about arson

ARSON is a niche crime but, along with stealing hearts or organ trafficking as it’s better known, one of the most musically popular. These lit up the charts.

Man not watching The Traitors unable to understand society

A MAN who is not watching The Traitors is completely unable to understand his friends, colleagues and the world around him, it has emerged.

Game shows sexual perverts want to see rebooted after the success of Gladiators

GLADIATORS is back, thanks to the eternal appeal of muscular hotties in sparkly lycra grappling with each other. What other reboots would appeal to deviants?

Will Mellor, and other bafflingly undeserving prime time TV careers

DESPITE apparently having minimal talent, some TV stars have mysteriously been appearing on our screens for decades. Like these.