Environment

STORM Lilian is bringing gales and heavy rain to areas that have underperformed in their GCSEs, meteorologists have confirmed.

THE sun is continuing to shine, leaving weary Britons with no choice but to go outside and perform sunshine-related activities. What will you do?

AFTER a summer closely resembling winter, the UK has called bullshit on today’s so-called heatwave.

LOW, grey skies and constant pissing rain, but can 2024 really compare to the f**king awful summers of England’s drenched past?

A STOICAL man gazing at the clouds has grimly warned that a hen party is approaching.

BRITONS facing the prospect of the first mildly left-leaning government in 14 years are concerned that it could make recycling a little bit harder to do.

SUPERFLUOUS wildlife is once again standing in the way of logging, beef farming and fossil fuel extraction, industry has confirmed.

TODAY’S heavy rain follows a waterlogged winter that scientists are blaming on climate change. Are they right?

A COUPLE wanting a peaceful day out away from the noise and hurly-burly of city life have found the countryside to be a clamorous nightmare.