Environment

BRITAIN’S water companies have hit back at criticism by pointing out that the turds clogging the rivers and seas all came from your arses.

PARENTS challenged on their wet wipe use have argued that surely they are allowed to produce at least one fatberg for every child.

NO matter how eco-conscious and sustainable you’re trying to be, some items’ destiny is landfill.

THE snow which has fallen on London is more significant and valuable than snow that has settled in other areas, it has been confirmed.

A WEATHER presenter found it hard to contain her relief that bitterly low temperatures will be confined to strange, faraway places like Scotland and Yorkshire.

ARE your tree-hugging, save-the-Siberian-marmoset friends on their way over? Here’s how to give the impression you’re basically Greta Thunberg.

A DAD has been allotting time slots for visitors on Christmas Day to prevent parking issues on his beloved drive.

THE city of London, which has been cut off from the rest of the country by the frozen M25, is to be abandoned to its fate.

RIGHTMOVE have released their list of the most soul-crushingly awful places to live in Britain – but is your town on there? Here’s your chance to find out.

NAMBY-PAMBY liberals say you should sit down with your kids and discuss climate change. Here Wayne Hayes explains how he’s teaching them the truth, not eco-fascist lies.