Environment

THE arrival of spring means people across the UK will be wearing the wrong thing every day for the next two months.

PLANTS that tough it out in the garden have confirmed that plants which live pampered lives indoors are absolute pussies.

THE public has decided to ignore all social responsibilities and work commitments because it is sunny out, it has been confirmed.

WITH Britain braced for the storm of the century, the Met Office is offering clear advice to dickheads who’ll ignore it: 

AMERICANS picture Britain as swinging London and quaint little thatched villages. Direct them to these hidden gems and see how they f**king like it.

THE UK’s farmers are up in arms at government plans to continue handing them large subsidies but to grow slightly different things. 

A HEROIC man has eschewed using a plastic bag during a trip to the supermarket and carried the loose items directly to the boot of his huge car.

WITH the planet in peril, it falls to wise yet humble people like me to set an example of living a frugal and sustainable lifestyle. Here are my tips.

THIS week has been busy at both Buckle Up! Insurance in Reading and the COP26 conference in Glasgow. But which had the more concrete achievements?

THE leaders of 25 of the world’s biggest countries have confirmed the words of an irrelevant hangover from the Middle Ages are not important to them.