Environment

AN office worker has been forced to lazily send just two emails from home today due to Storm Ciarán.

STORM Ciarán is set to batter the UK, and as environment secretary I simply could not care less. Here’s my advice, but frankly it’s your problem so piss off.

THE concept of ‘15-minute cities’ is being given a new name to appeal to people with an insufferably rose-tinted view of the past.

BRITAIN’S water suppliers have explained their request for £96 billion to stop pumping shit into waterways is entirely legal and legitimate.

A TEENAGE girl has told off her parents for poisoning the environment with their car, while awaiting the delivery of a truckload of sweatshop clothes.

YOU’D think I’d be concerned about the Earth, due to it being where I live every day. But you’d be wrong. I f**king hate it, and anything that makes it uninhabitable is fine by me.

WALES, that blighted country clinging to England’s belly like a parasite, has imposed a nationwide limit of 20mph. Here’s what happened when I travelled there.

A GROUP of schoolchildren have been to a growhouse on a Walsall housing estate to see where the weed they smoke is made.

THE environmental impact of disposable vapes may soon be eliminated by a completely biodegradable alternative launched by Marlboro.

DON’T drive? Not in London? It doesn’t matter. This is why you must cease your provincial nonsense and immediately form an opinion about Ulez expansion.