Health

Man horrified to realise he's as old as his parents when they were really f**king ancient

A MAN is facing up to the horrific realisation that he is now the same age his parents were when they seemed alarmingly old.

Driving the best way of working off anger issues, say experts

DRIVING like a lunatic is the best way for men and women - but especially men - to work off feelings of rage and frustration, research has proved.

'Clothes shopping's so hard when you're a size eight' and other shit your skinny friend says

SHE gets all the attention, fits Zara dresses and absolutely benefits from accepted beauty standards, but your thin mate still acts the victim. Here’s the bollocks she says.

Should I stop shagging monkeys? Your monkeypox questions answered

YOU’RE probably confused by what monkeypox is and what you should be doing to prevent it. Don’t worry - Dr Emma Bradford is here to answer all your questions.

Middle-aged man can't understand why abusing own body isn't fun anymore

A 48-YEAR-OLD is baffled as to why body-punishing treats like staying up late, drinking whiskey and eating fry-ups are no longer fun but just hurt.

Man enters bargaining stage of hair loss

A MAN with thinning hair has moved through the denial and anger stages and is now attempting to bargain with the cosmos.

Five simple wellness hacks that aren't as good as a wank and a smoke

WANT to boost your wellbeing? Do not bother with these simple hacks which are nothing compared to a wank and a smoke.

The best desperate tactics when you're trying to hold in a piss

IS your bladder absolutely bursting with no solution in sight? Here are five ploys to help you fight the need to pee.

Nurses recall their hard-partying pandemic days

THE UK’s teachers and nurses are looking back at the early days of the pandemic lockdown when life for them was just one long party.

Lucky woman enjoys one whole week a month where her hormones aren't being a dick

A LUCKY woman is able to enjoy one week out of four without her uterus making her life shit, she has confirmed.