Health

Anti-vaxxer couldn't give a f**k about fat jabs

WEIGHT-loss injections are linked to 82 deaths, according to a headline completely ignored by a fanatical anti-vaccine campaigner because they are not his thing.

Assisted dying bill to include getting past GP's receptionist

THE assisted dying bill is be toughened by replacing a review by a judge with arguing your way past a GP’s receptionist.

'Have a wank': The five things men hear when they listen to their bodies

BEING in tune with your body means you hear and understand its needs. Which, as a man, usually fall into these five categories.

How I will face the challenges of the next four years, by Donald Trump's bowels

A NEW era of Trumpism has begun. And rest assured, as the commander-in-chief’s lower digestive system I will be ever vigilant during this second presidency. We need no accidents.

This one awful weight loss trick involves eating well and working out

REALLY works! Side effects include exhaustion, hunger, and not having everything you want but scientists confirm the weight will just fall off, within a year or so.

Getting stitch proves running unhealthy and dangerous

MEDICAL research has discovered that getting a stitch while running is a clinical indication the entire practice is wrong and you should stop exercising immediately.

Quick trip to the shops gives woman eight colds

A WOMAN who nipped into Tesco to pick up a few bits has returned home with eight different contagious illnesses, she has confirmed.

Are you stupid enough to think you can clean the oven? A tragedy in five acts

HAVE you made the unwise decision to clean your own oven, based purely on it being unacceptably filthy? These are the stages of your unfolding regret.