Health

Six Guardian wellbeing tips if you have no job and limitless cash

SEEKING serenity, we all turn to the Guardian for advice on coping with the stress and strain of reading terrifying stories in the Guardian. Here are their tips to make you feel good, all the time, about everything.

The five hangovers of Twixmas, from best to please kill me

THE hinterland between Christmas and New Year punishes your body and mind in novel ways. These hangovers are why you’ll return to work not remotely refreshed.

Man starts moisturising far, far too late

A MIDDLE-AGED man has adopted a new skincare routine, despite being so leathery and grizzled that it is too late to make a difference.

'What did lockdowns really achieve besides saving lives?' asks Johnson

BORIS Johnson has asked the Covid inquiry to explain what the benefit was of a precaution that stopped people dying.

Woman doomed to spend the rest of her life in warm shower

A WOMAN has found herself physically incapable of stepping out of her warm shower and into the unpleasantly cold atmosphere of her bathroom.

What gross illness has your child brought home from nursery this week?

ARE you feeling like shit again and wondering what your toddler has infected you with this week? Probably one of these vile ailments.

Long eyebrow hairs, and other ways the male body gets sexier and sexier with age

MEN tend to start off gorgeous and like fine wines only get better with age. Here are just five ways the male body basically turns all blokes into George Clooney eventually. 

How to survive your partner whinging about having a cold

YOUR partner has a minor illness and you’re suffering the ill-effects of having to look after the sneezy f**ker. This is how you’ll survive it.

Menstrual mood swings oddly liberating, women agree

WOMAN have confirmed that the hormones and mood swings associated with menstruation give them free reign to let their worst but most honest emotions show.

Back, sack and crack: the seven places the hair on a man's head migrates to

AT a certain point in every man’s life, the hair on his head begins an epic journey to the grossest corners of his body. Here are the places it ends up.