Health

It's Freedom Day Eve, says insufferable prick

A TIRESOME moron is calling the last 24 hours until social restrictions lift 'Freedom Day Eve'.

The top 10 best places to get pinged

PINGING is Britain’s new craze, with the country going wild for getting an alert on the NHS app and having to self-isolate. But where’s the coolest place for it to happen?

Seatbelts and traffic lights to be 'personal responsibility' from next week

THE government will lift all obligations to observe red lights or wear seat belts as of Monday, no matter the consequences.

'I will never wear a mask on the Tube' says man who lives and works in Truro

A CORNISHMAN with no reason to visit London anytime soon has angrily refused to wear a face mask on the capital’s underground, he has stated.

Man who firmly believes Freedom Day is a mistake really looking forward to it

A MAN who believes the science does not support abandoning Covid restructions from Monday has plans every night next week.

Anti-masker to find new ways of being a prick after July 19th

AN anti-mask activist is racking his brains for ways to make a prick of himself when the rules on face coverings change, he has confirmed.

Cold showers are enjoyable, and other bullshit health obsessives believe

STAYING healthy is wise long-term, but wellness trends suck the enjoyment from life. Don't get sucked in by the following bullshit.

Boyfriend really hoping that's a positive Covid test in bathroom

A MAN who has discovered a positive test on the side of the bathroom sink is really hoping it is for Covid-19.

Twatty gym behaviours: a spotter's guide

DO YOU drag yourself to the twatting gym only to find it’s full of twats using all the twatting equipment? Use our comprehensive spotters’ guide to gym wankers.

All restrictions must end now, says man who got his second jab yesterday

A MIDDLE aged man who received his second jab yesterday has demanded all lockdown restrictions end immediately.