Health

'I only find sparkling refreshing': Six water wankers who need to get a grip

WATER is, ultimately, water. Sadly that doesn’t stop some being incredibly particular about the hydration they need to live, like the following wankers...

Teenagers switch from disposably vaping to properly, permanently vaping

YOUNG people have turned away from disposable vapes to sober, heavyweight vapes that will last a lifetime, just as the government intended.

Wanker doing pull-ups on tube

A GROUNDBREAKING wanker is doing pull-ups on a London underground train, fellow commuters have disgustedly confirmed.

Woman burning most of her workout calories by scrolling

A WOMAN aiming to get fit at an expensive gym is mainly exercising a single digit on her right hand.

Penny Mordaunt's guide to why smoking is good for you

PENNY Mordaunt has taken up the role of ‘advisor’ with fag giant British American Tobacco. So if you stupidly thought smoking was bad for you, Penny is here to put you right.

Covid five years on: Banging pans with the neighbours and other stuff you prefer not to think about now

THE pandemic was a time of fear, uncertainty, and weird shit you did which you'd rather forget five years later. Such as these bizarre behaviours.

Shit jobs will cure you, benefits claimants told

THE government has promised disabled benefits claimants that toiling away in poorly-paid dead-end jobs is a miracle cure.

The life-threatening dangers of putting a cotton bud in your ear, by a doctor

I STAND over the body. ‘It’s a damn shame,’ I mutter, as police prepare to take another cotton bud fatality to the morgue. These are just a few of the ways they can kill you.

'The efficiency of its administrative layer played an admittedly minor part in saving my life': Your memories of NHS England

OVER the 13 years since it was formed, NHS England has indirectly and tangentially touched so many of our lives. Here are your memories.