Health

OUTSIDE the newsagent in the year 2044 lurk two men in their early thirties. They hold up a £40 note and ask you to get them a packet of Silk Cut. Will you?

MORE than 2.8 million Britons are living it up by being too ill to work, instead revelling in long, lazy days untroubled by responsibility. But is there a downside?

A TAXPAYER-funded GP has made the depraved suggestion that a couple trying to conceive a child should have frequent sexual intercourse.

A THERAPIST is helping a client to gradually reach the understanding that all of their problems are there own f**king fault, it has emerged.

THE UK is facing a choice between continuing to eat crisps or living longer, and made its decision before reaching the end of this sentence.

A MOTHER has decided that her son’s 25th birthday should be marked with anecdotes about perineal tears and a pelvic floor ‘that never recovered’.