Health

Everyone in tier 4 town blaming rival tier 4 town

THE residents of a Berkshire town are blaming the dirty bastards in their rival town for the restrictions placed on them.

Northerners definitely not laughing

NORTHERNERS have confirmed that they do not find London and the South-East’s tier 4 lockdown as Kent becomes a lorry park in any way amusing.

Five types of idiot who still haven't noticed there's a deadly virus

DESPITE a grim year of lockdown and restrictions, some people seem determined to carry on completely as normal. Check you’re not one of these tossers.

Five ways Matt Hancock will totally f**k up the vaccination

EXPERTS say the UK could return to normality by Easter if we don’t screw up the vaccine rollout. Here’s how Matt Hancock will screw up the vaccine rollout.

Brexiters first: the order in which Britain will be given the vaccine and why

THE government has announced the order in which a Covid vaccine will be administered to Britain’s population. Find out where you are on the list.

Brave anti-vaxxer to be vaccinated to prove it's bollocks

A HEROIC anti-vaxxer has volunteered to be injected with the new vaccine to expose the Covid conspiracy for the lie that it is.

Success of lockdown 'entirely dependent on everyone actually doing it'

SCIENTISTS have put forward the controversial theory that lockdowns only work if the public actually bothers to f**king observe them.

Government to ignore breakthrough vaccine for one designed by old Oxford chum that doesn't work

THE UK government has greeted news of a viable Covid-19 vaccine by ordering a different one made by an old schoolfriend with a zero per cent success rate.

Getting up to open another bottle and five other exercise tips for Lockdown 2

NO ONE is going to put up with Joe Wicks a second time around, so how are we all going to stay in shape? Here are some exercise tips for people who are royally f**ked off with Covid.

Lockdown 2: The Sequel, ranked against all the other sequels

LOCKDOWN 2 has arrived just months after the end of the widely acclaimed first lockdown, but will it be a Ghostbusters 2 or an Aliens? Check our rankings: