Facebook launches 'Indifferent to' button

SOCIAL networking site Facebook has launched a tool for expressing ambivalence.

The new ‘Indifferent to’ button will allow users to highlight things on the internet that they don’t care about.

A Facebook spokesman said: “In a world obsessed with status, indifference is perhaps the most aspirational emotion.

“You can say to your friends, ‘look at all these people and objects I can’t even bring myself to consider’.

“Then they will think you are great.”

28-year-old Emma Bradford said: “I’ve indifferented a Mumford & Sons video, a website about helicopters and a picture of a bowl of lentils.

“I feel so deliciously insouciant. I’m like a young Debbie Harry, the emotionally detached ice queen of the internet.

“It’s also good to be able to read lists of things my friends feel unengaged by. I see cantilever bicycle brakes are appearing on a lot of people’s feeds, also flapjacks and moderately windy days.

“I really like indifference.”



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Pope headhunted by Satan

POPE Benedict XVI is leaving his post at the Vatican to work for the devil.

Joseph Ratzinger handed in his 30 days’ notice to God, telling a surprised deity that he would be taking up a key role with His arch-rival.

The Pope will become marketing director at Satan’s newly-founded Temple of Darkness, a global devil-worship brand.

He said: “Poping has been great fun and over the last eight years I have met a lot very strange people with some fascinating secrets.

“This isn’t about money, it’s about the creative challenge. I’ll be using my understanding of dogma to create a manifesto for a great new sin-based brand.

“Satan runs a fun, hip organisation – he’s like the Google of worship. There’ll be chilled out brainstorming sessions and loads of muffins.

“Also, I hate hymns, so it’ll be great to organise services where we listen to Cradle of Filth.

“And it will be nice to finally work for a company where I can say, ‘yeah, we’re supposed to do stuff like that’.”

He added: “Thanks to all the priests and nuns, I hope we stay in touch. Thanks to God – I couldn’t have done it without You. And of course, thanks to Tony and Cherie – you guys are mental!”

Satan said: “The Hitler Youth and the Vatican. I should be working for him.”



Pope memories:

Pope Congratulated On Size Of His Balls

Pope Says Child Abuse The Same As Using The Wrong Cutlery

Pope To Fulfil Lifelong Dream Of Invading Britain

Put A Bible Over Your Penis, Says Pope