Politics

THE British public is relieved that straight-talking man of the people Jacob Rees-Mogg is delivering the people’s Brexit they voted for.

PEOPLE who believe Covid is a hoax also believe Keir Starmer covered up Jimmy Savile’s crimes and are twats, scientists have found.

THE mob that chased Keir Starmer yesterday believe he has inherited the powers of Jimmy Savile and can ‘fix it’ for them to do whatever they want.

TORY MPs? F**k them. The public? F**k them even more. Keir Starmer? He can f**k himself, he’s not worth the effort. This ends now. 

THE ghost of Adolf Hitler has advised Boris Johnson that sometimes you need to know when you are beaten. 

AFTER the decision to stop customs checks on goods entering Northern Ireland, the ultra-conservative DUP has added the NI Protocol to its long list of things it does not believe in. 

YOU don’t end up with as much money as me – around £440 million, minimum – without knowing how to save it! Follow these tips to save hundreds of thousands a year: 

DO you wish you could be less charismatic and just kind of blend into the wallpaper? Master of not-making-an-impression Keir Starmer is here with some tips.

I WAS fully behind Boris and his enthusiasm for casual racism and unlawfully suspending parliament. But this party thing really makes the government look bad, so I’ve submitted my letter of no confidence.

MICHAEL Gove here. I have to admit we rushed out ‘levelling up’ without actually deciding what it was. Here’s your chance to fill in the details and win a prize that’s no doubt thrilling for Northern oiks.