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JUST like when a friend asks your opinion on a poem they’ve written, it can be hard to find nice things to say about your partner’s junk. But anything that may boost your chances of oral sex is worth a go.

ARE you a rational person, or do you now believe one of these wild Princess Kate rumours swirling around the internet?

VAPES are to be taxed according to how stupid their plume of candy-flavoured smoke smells, it has emerged.

YOU cannot imagine what it’s like, you provincials. Living here, in London, in the shadow of the most despotic, corrupt, malevolent regime ever known.

Suffering vaginal dryness? Have you tried checking for packets of silica gel?

WAKING up in a septic tank in a pool of urine not exclusively my own, following a sequence of events with which I shall not detain you, I wearily clamber out and take stock of recent events.

YOU know those massive methane farts cows stand around pumping out all day, destroying the ozone layer? They'll soon stop once they're dead and under the grill. You won't see that in our woke vegan media.

NOT all celebrities are from America, some of them even come from Wales. Not that you would ever suspect these ones hail from the Land of Song.

A WOMAN caught cheating has a respectable, patriarchy-smashing reason for doing so, it has emerged.

THE name of Marie Antoinette, consort of Louis XVI of France, has endured almost entirely because of how fit she was. But did you know she also invented influencing?