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Always odd, the obsession medieval artists had with creating memento mori. Was an infant mortality rate of 30 per cent insufficient to remind them of death?

Waking up with my head pounding to a Burundi rhythm, my tongue akin to a sofa left out in the desert for six weeks, I take a moment to reflect on the events of the past seven days.

FIFTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, has been told that if he doesn’t sell his old clothes they’ll be given to a charity shop.

LEFT-wing social justice politics is so Biden. Edgelord is the new woke. Right-wing extremism is blowing up in Europe and America. I had to get involved.

It’s nice that Judas is still counted as one of the apostles even after everything that went down.

WAKING up with a hangover so intense that anything I stare at turns bright green and melts, I reflect on the turbulence of the last few days.

I’VE held my tongue for too long. But I refuse to be silenced. It is time to speak my truth. And my truth is this: is it just me, or are KitKat Chunkys getting smaller?

CAN 28-year-old Helen Archer enjoy the company of Tom Logan, aged 32, without his stalker ex arriving and threatening her with a butter knife?

Expect a big romantic gesture this week! Because it’s Valentine’s Day, genius. Christ, we really are serving absolute bottom-feeders here.

WAKING up with a hangover whose reverberations were a contributory factor in the earthquakes that afflicted the Greek island of Santorini, I reflect on the past week.