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Want to work in London but can’t afford the financial or psychological damage of living there? High Wycombe makes a perfectly shite alternative.

BRITAIN would be nothing without the potato. Vegan, gluten-free and delicious, spuds are the crispy-yet-fluffy-on-the-inside bricks modern civilisation is built on.

Everybody’s seen that picture of Albert Einstein sticking his tongue out. But beneath the clownish exterior was a very intelligent man.

WAKING with a morning head and aware of a distinctively green, radioactive glow emanating from my skull, I reflect on last Sunday’s events at morning service.

FORGET your gender nonsense, Gen Z. Worry not about climate change. The time has come for you to put your anxieties aside and fuck.

NEW album Hackney Diamonds means more of the few precious years The Rolling Stones have left will be spent on the road playing the same songs to the same fans.

Up in the north-west of England is the Tories’ bête noire, the working-class left-wing city they keep trying to kill but that will not die.

SCARED of a little bit of blood? Not a modern, empowered, body-positive woman like you. You’re not cowed by the fact you’re feeling icky in more ways than one.

Would it kill them to add some of those 60s Batman onomatopoeia animations to hardcore pornography once in a while?

WAKING with a faint buzzing about the temples, perhaps as a result of my now-customary Brasso nightcap, I recall the tumultuous events of the past few days.