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AWARD-winning pop sensation Justin Timberlake has been wowing crowds for decades. Here he explains why his next project is to represent the constituents of Barnsley North.

Like every child who counts, I grew up loving Harry Potter. It got our generation into reading and spending hundreds of pounds at a walk-through studio tour in Leavesden.

You know who should have done an Eras tour? Motörhead.

WAKING with a hangover that would doubtless make a Geiger counter explode if it attempted to measure it, I reflect on what drove me to my present condition. The answer? Ed Davey.

WE tend not to brag about majorities, in this country. As Blair proved, it’s vulgar. Boris’s was only described as ‘stonking’ in sly tribute to his sexual charisma.

THOM’S a millennial. His date Olly is the even more annoying Generation Z. But can they overcome their natural distrust and forge a union?

“Billy Zane is not my girl, no, he’s a guy who used to date Kelly Brook. My God her acting sucked.”

WAKING with a hangover so thumping I expect a gorilla’s fist to come bursting out of my cranium at any moment, I reflect on the meeting with Sir Keir Starmer that led me to drink.

FOOD is fuel, and anyone who talks pretentious bollocks about it is a con artist. ‘The sea bass goujons are sublime.’ Piss off. They’re just up-themselves fish fingers.

THE Conservatives have admitted they do not know how they will manage it but if it is what the public wants, they will cut public services even more.