Animals Headlines

A RESCUE cat has confirmed it is not interested in your sentimental bullshit about having a 'loving home' and just wants food.

HEDGEHOGS have confirmed they do not like trampolining and children should not make them do it.

DOGS have pathetically self-indulgent emotions just like humans, it has emerged.

A DOG has confirmed he is ready to begin negotiations for letting go of a stick.

KEN Livingstone named one of his pet newts ‘Adolf’, it has emerged.

A WOODPECKER and a weasel have moved in together and are ‘excited about starting a family’.

A GROUP of neighbourhood dogs said last night’s two-hour barking session was one of the best this year.

RUFUS the hawk has entered the Wimbledon men's semi-finals despite never having played competitive tennis.

THERE is no bee equivalent of a lazy, self-centered arsehole who offloads all their admin onto you, according to new research.

A CHIMPANZEE in a Swedish zoo has displayed the distinctly human characteristic of not enjoying being locked up against his will.