Animals Headlines

ENORMOUS, terrifying tropical insects that are the stuff of nightmares may at last be on the brink of extinction, it was claimed last night.

A HUGE squid found off the coast of Antarctica is basically the same as a normal squid, only much, much bigger, a team of disappointed zoologists said last night.

THE scientist who invented a mouse that could eat as much as it liked without getting fat has been found dead in his laboratory with his body covered in tiny teeth marks. 

A BEAUTIFUL camel who also claims to be a part-time model is really just a dirty skank who is mad for cock, one of her ex-boyfriends revealed last night. 

ANT colonies are not harmoniously run communes but large sprawling ranches in Texas rife with infighting and extra-marital affairs, new research reveals.

THE new series of Gladiators has been given the green light after Britain's captive monkey population gave it a non-opposable thumbs-up.

THE British Army is to phase out the practice of firing goats into walls, the Ministry of Defence announced last night. 

A NEW species of mammal, described as a 'weird-looking gerbily thing with a massive conk', has been discovered in the mountains of Tanzania.

A NEW species of giant rat has been discovered in a remote region of New Guinea by a team of totally freaked-out zoologists.

WORKERS at a Tesco superstore watched yesterday as a dog had a huge shit in the middle of their car park.