Christmas

Dog concerned for owners who spent hard-earned money on presents for him

A DOG is still worried about the humans who collect his shit because they spent money on unnecessary presents for an occasion he does not understand.

Working-class family still trying to see point of Christmas walk

A WORKING-CLASS family taken on a traditional Boxing Day walk are still struggling to work out why four days later.

Mum unable to eat or sleep until kids write 'thank you' letters

A MOTHER has confessed she is unable to eat, sleep or feel anything but crushing guilt because her children have yet to write ‘thank you’ letters. 

Family starts new Christmas tradition of staring at Nan through window

A LOVING family has started a magical new festive tradition of peering at elderly relatives through glass.

Presents reveal no-one in family knows each other

A FAMILY has passed another year without bothering to get to know one another well enough to buy suitable presents.

Gran still believes a fiver is a decent gift

A BRITISH grandmother remains convinced that £5 is still a reasonable Christmas gift for her adult grandchildren.

'Well they're not social distancing' says dad during every Christmas film

A DAD has decided to make comments about recent public health regulations during every Christmas movie.

'Aren't headphones small now?' and four other inevitable Christmas chats

PAINFUL Christmas conversations with your relatives are a fine Christmas tradition. Brace yourself for these topics that will inevitably come up.

How to prepare a Boxing Day meal of leftover shit

BOXING Day meals don’t have to live up to any expectations because they’re made entirely from uneaten scraps. Here’s how to prepare one.

Kid leaves out sherry and mince pies for Jeff Bezos

A CHILD has left out a plate of mince pies and a glass of sherry for the bringer of Christmas presents, Jeff Bezos.