Christmas
OFFICE workers heading out to get pissed after finishing for Christmas are distraught that a tedious prick of a colleague has decided to join them.
IT’S the most aggressive day of the year, but how do you have a traditional Black Eye Friday that’s both violent and festive? Here’s a guide to this magical drunken event.
A RETIRED mum has bought a brand-new shiny outfit for the grand occasion of sitting in her own living room.
NETWORK Rail has promised all rail passengers they will be taken to their family, or a family of equivalent value, before Christmas Eve.
WITH just three days until Christmas dinner, Britons are starting to crack under the pressure of being expected to make perfect crispy roast potatoes.
EVERY single person is planning to set off a day early for Christmas in order to avoid heavy traffic, it has emerged.
A MAN with a sexual proclivity for socks is eagerly anticipating Christmas Day, which for him is the horniest 24 hours of the year.
TOO many kids are happy with mediocre turns their school nativity. Here, Christian Bale explains how put in an Oscar-worthy performance in the role of sheep number three.
A MAN has informed all his female acquaintances that he will be sending out dick pics rather than Christmas cards this year.
THE public has been reminded it is totally normal not to feel a magical, tingly feeling near Christmas if you are an adult.