Christmas

ALL your nicest and most generous relatives will not see you at Christmas because of Covid fears while all the worst dickheads are still coming. 

A CARING family man has thoughtfully given his wife a list of his relatives to choose, purchase and wrap presents for.

IT’S the dilemma for any teenager at Christmas: you want cash, but know you can con aunties into spending more on a gift. Rip them off more effectively with our guide.

MIDDLE class parents are masters of showing off in passive-aggressive ways. Here’s how to write a self-congratulatory card this Christmas.

A WOMAN who only uses emails or texts during the rest of the year has discovered she has lost the ability to produce legible writing with a pen.

IT’S coming up to Christmas, which means some tosser will make you sit next to them to watch a Christmas movie they love and you don’t. Like these.

CHILDREN are being taken to see a Santa behind a plastic screen with masked elves and mandatory hand gel to keep the magic of Christmas alive. 

A WOMAN who claims she is desperate to spend time with her extended family this year has forgotten that she usually hides in the bathroom drinking wine.

A MAN has been ejected from his living room sofa so his wife has space to enjoy a blanket.

WHO doesn’t love a smug ‘round robin’ message in which friends and relatives tell you how well things are going for their family? But what do they really mean?