Arts & Entertainment

SOME songs have been resurrected more times than the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. And much like the films, every new iteration is somehow shitter than the one before.

PEOPLE in the 1970s were terrible at figuring who was and was not gay despite it being really f**king obvious, historians have confirmed.

BONNIE Langford’s return to Doctor Who has sent ageing nerds into a frenzy, but the show could do better. Dad Roy Hobbs explains which former companions he lusted over should return next.

HAVE you popped on Modern Life Is Rubbish thinking it was released nine years ago? You’re very wrong. Here are some other albums that will make you feel ancient.

HOLLY Willoughby has ruined This Morning’s most stress-free show in weeks by suddenly turning to camera and telling the whole of Britain to f**k off.

LOVE Island ratings are falling because ‘hot morons in a villa’ may have run its tawdry course. These shows staggered on long after their natural deaths.

A COUPLE have finally reached the end of a highly-acclaimed TV drama they lost the thread of several series ago.

A WOMAN completely lacking in self-awareness considers herself to be extremely vocally talented, it has emerged.

TODAY’S so-called ‘pop stars’ care more about the rainforest and prancing around like nancy boys than proper tunes. Luckily for gammons, there are still some you can listen to without getting even angrier.

BRITONS are having deep regrets about clearing out their DVD collections assuming they would be too busy with new stuff and it would all be on Netflix anyway.