Celebrity

TV presenter Vernon Kaye's missus shouldn't get her knickers in a twist over a bit of saucy fun, Seventies experts said last night.

PASSAGES in the Old Testament predicted the split between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, according to a leading academic.

EVERYONE is to run everything past Stephen Fry first just to make sure it's okay, it was confirmed last night.

CHERYL Cole has angered fans after it emerged she will perform on the X-Factor using a remote controlled, animatronic mouth to mimic the appearance of live miming.

THE man who punched Leona Lewis in the side of the head was last night urged to have a pop at Chris Martin when he has a minute.

LONDON mayor Boris Johnson has entered into an historic wig-sharing agreement with Eastenders actress Barbara Windsor.

PRINCES William and Harry are to give a higher profile to their charity work as they continue to have a thoroughly splendid time with lots of your money.

TOP Gear presenter James May is facing demolition after it emerged his parents did not apply for permission to build a twat.

STREET urchins Diversity are to be returned to the workhouse on half rations after humiliating their master in front of the prime minister.

JORDAN and Peter Andre were yesterday granted a 'quickie' interview and photoshoot deal with Okay! magazine.