Food

KNOW an idiot who believes pizza is better with just bland, boring mozzarella? Here are some food facts they need to stop being in denial about.

SNICKERS bars are being sold under former name Marathon for the first time since 1990. Does this conclusively prove Brexit was a success after all?

A MAN who is simultaneously sweating, weeping, gasping from exertion and emitting smoke claims he is thoroughly enjoying his meal.

CHOOSING the suitable venue for a meal with friends means carefully balancing location, menu and price until everyone is equally pissed off. Follow these tips.

A DINER at a restaurant will do whatever it takes to be the waiter’s favourite customer of all time, his girlfriend has confirmed.

A WOMAN keen not to appear greedy on a first date does not give a shit about inhaling a massive pudding by the third, she has confirmed.

A MIX of cloud, rain, heat and occasional sunshine has left the whole of Northern England with no clear plan for its tea.

TODAY’S kids, in addition to their bloody phones, can pick any f**king flavour ice-cream they want. When you were a child these were the options.