Six ways street food is far worse than regular food

EATING from little huts is cool and trendy, but at what financial and emotional cost? These once-exhilarating outlets are now worse than an Asda ready meal.

Randomly start a fight while ordering: the proper etiquette for buying a kebab at 3am while blind drunk

STAGGERING to the kebab shop after a night's heavy drinking, pausing only to urinate in an alleyway? Remember to mind your manners and follow these protocols.

Caramac dies, and with it the guttering flame of Western civilisation

THE Caramac has gone. And now all there is left to do is wait for the rest of Western civilisation to inevitably follow.

Filet-O-Fish, KFC fries: the worst item from every fast food chain

EATING your usual guilty cheeseburger, you notice the items on the menu of your favourite fast-food franchise that nobody living has ever ordered. For why would they?

Smash burgers and other food trends you'd happily never hear about again

BRITISH food has always had a bad reputation, but at least it wasn't this social media-fuelled bollocks you could easily live without.

Teenager at university discovering freedom tastes a lot like cheese toasties

A FIRST YEAR student is discovering that the freedom he always longed for tastes like eating the same meal every f**king day.

Coffeeshop to cut the bullshit and sell speed cut with laxatives

A CAFÉ has pledged to stop faffing around with coffee and instead offer everyone a bump of speed cut with a powerful laxative.

Six culinary fast tracks to crippling indigestion

HUNGRY? Make sure you've got a medicine cupboard full of Gaviscon before diving into one of these reflux-inducing treats.

Nobody sharing plates wants to

NOT a single person in a restaurant who is sharing plates wants to be doing so, it has been confirmed.

Homemade pizza massive f**king waste of time, scientists confirm

SCIENTISTS have found compelling evidence that anyone making pizza at home is deranged and needs urgent psychiatric help.