Food

A TEENAGER’S trademark recipe is two slices of white bread expertly cooked in a toaster, he has boasted.

FOOD is fuel, and anyone who talks pretentious bollocks about it is a con artist. ‘The sea bass goujons are sublime.’ Piss off. They’re just up-themselves fish fingers.

AMERICA is apparently the land of the free and home of the brave. But even they can't pluck up the courage to enjoy classic British food, like this.

SOME so-called foods yield so little nutritional reward for the painstaking effort of eating them that they're better off in the bin. Like these pathetic examples.

A NEW study has found there are no substantial differences between ice cream and gelato other than the latter is consumed by knobheads.

A WOMAN who decided to vary her Friday night routine by trying a new takeaway fears she will never learn to trust again.

A DELIVEROO cyclist has had his wages docked as punishment for stopping at a red light, it has emerged.

JESUS has confirmed that his last temptation was to escape sacrifice, live as an ordinary man and raise a family, but the temptation previous to that was banoffee pie.