Food

The only six ice-cream choices available to a child in the 1970s

TODAY’S kids, in addition to their bloody phones, can pick any f**king flavour ice-cream they want. When you were a child these were the options.

Daily Mail readers turn their hatred to biscuits

Salads: Myth vs reality

THE actual summer, with the sun and its heat, is nearly here which means delicious, healthy salads – or so Big Salad wants you to believe. This is the unpalatable truth.

Teenager's signature dish is toast

A TEENAGER’S trademark recipe is two slices of white bread expertly cooked in a toaster, he has boasted.

Artisan bollocks and wall-to-wall f**king fudge: The gammon food critic visits a food festival

FOOD is fuel, and anyone who talks pretentious bollocks about it is a con artist. ‘The sea bass goujons are sublime.’ Piss off. They’re just up-themselves fish fingers.

Scotch eggs, and other British foods that leave Americans traumatised

AMERICA is apparently the land of the free and home of the brave. But even they can't pluck up the courage to enjoy classic British food, like this.

Chicken wings, pomegranates, and other food too insubstantial to be worth the f**king effort

SOME so-called foods yield so little nutritional reward for the painstaking effort of eating them that they're better off in the bin. Like these pathetic examples.

Meghan Markle's jam 'extruded from strange orifice in her neck'

Inflation plummets if your diet is 90 per cent meat

Gelato just ice cream for wankers, study finds

A NEW study has found there are no substantial differences between ice cream and gelato other than the latter is consumed by knobheads.