Food

THE ‘cheeky Nando’s’ is close to overtaking Britain’s other top cheeky pastimes, the cheeky fag and cheeky pint. But is your trip officially cheeky or are you living a lie?

CRIME organisations including the Mafia, Yakuza and the Triads have confirmed they are in total control of new trends in gastronomy.

BEGINNING with an oversized dry turkey, Christmas is a catalogue of foodstuffs avoided every other day of the year. And yet you gorged on all these.

A MOTHER is urging her adult daughter, home for Christmas, to fully consume all proffered food while also, long-term, slimming down.

CONFECTIONER Cadbury’s can no longer display a Royal Warrant after an incident between the King and a Creme Egg which he is still not entirely over.

The UK has once again been shaken to its foundations by the discovery that just because a mince pie is expensive does not mean it is the nicest tasting.

THEY used to be everywhere. It’s all your sister’s asked you to get in return for her laying on the whole Christmas day. But have you left it too late for a cheap tub of Heroes?

MORE than £25,000 worth of pies have, to the amazement of no-one, been stolen in a Yorkshire pie heist.