Food

HALLOWEEN? Load of bollocks if you ask me. Another American import we neither want nor need, like Starbucks, Black Friday and taking the knee. Not sure if the last two are related.

TRAGICALLY, most of us have to share a fridge with a family, partner or flatmates. Here are some of the food storage annoyances these irredeemable bastards subject you to.

FOOD shoppers have demanded the removal of nutritional information, the country of origin and all extraneous adjectives from their food packaging.

KNOW an idiot who believes pizza is better with just bland, boring mozzarella? Here are some food facts they need to stop being in denial about.

SNICKERS bars are being sold under former name Marathon for the first time since 1990. Does this conclusively prove Brexit was a success after all?

A MAN who is simultaneously sweating, weeping, gasping from exertion and emitting smoke claims he is thoroughly enjoying his meal.

CHOOSING the suitable venue for a meal with friends means carefully balancing location, menu and price until everyone is equally pissed off. Follow these tips.

A DINER at a restaurant will do whatever it takes to be the waiter’s favourite customer of all time, his girlfriend has confirmed.

A WOMAN keen not to appear greedy on a first date does not give a shit about inhaling a massive pudding by the third, she has confirmed.