Food

ARE you hoping to boost your sex drive and your chances of getting laid by ostentatiously eating aphrodisiac foods on a date? Here’s how it might backfire.

EVERY self-respecting cereal has a cartoon mascot and you’re horny in the morning. Here’s the order in which you’d do them.

FANCY having some fast food delivered because you can’t be arsed to bake a potato? Here’s how you will suffer karmic retribution for being a lazy shit.

HAS your cousin become a vegan since last Christmas? Here's how they will cancel your beloved nan's traditional Boxing Day trifle layer-by-layer.

CHRISTMAS Dinner contains a multitude of delicious components, but now we're all through it which is the best?

FOOD scientists have confirmed that the best way to eat turkey is in quick little handfuls while standing in a kitchen illuminated only by the fridge.

IT IS 1pm on Christmas Day and there are only shit chocolates left, the nation has confirmed.

BOUGHT shitloads of food in to make sure you're covered for two f**king days? Chances are you'll be emptying half this perishable shit in the bin by Wednesday.

ARE you unsure whether you’d shag posh celebrity chef Nigella Lawson or posh celebrity chef Ella Woodward? Let’s try to resolve this improbable sexual dilemma.

JAMIE Oliver has used his new Christmas special to advise giving Brussels sprouts and tired old turkey a bit of pizzazz with a touch of gold leaf.