Food

YOU need a bit of salad to make your meals less carb-intensive, but can you find a cucumber f**king anywhere? Try your luck with our interactive game.

RINGS of fried dough have begun behaving as if they are expensive gourmet desserts because they have icing and crushed biscuits on top.

THE totally tropical soft drink beloved by barely anybody passed away peacefully yesterday evening, it has been confirmed.

COULD your sibling be getting more of something than you? Is that the end of the world? Here’s how to ensure life is precisely fair.

VEGETARIANS have admitted their dietary choice would crumble in seconds were it not for the existence of chips.

GOT a craving for roast beef, crispy bacon or a Thai curry? Prepare to be let down by these snacks whose descriptions are flagrantly taking the piss.

A MALE amateur chef is delighted with himself after obtaining all the five herbs and spices that exist.

A MAN from Batley has been given a substantial fine for cutting his bacon butty in a manner unbecoming of a Yorkshireman.

ARE you hoping to boost your sex drive and your chances of getting laid by ostentatiously eating aphrodisiac foods on a date? Here’s how it might backfire.

EVERY self-respecting cereal has a cartoon mascot and you’re horny in the morning. Here’s the order in which you’d do them.