Food

Daredevil makes sandwich directly on kitchen surface 

A RISK-TAKING adventurer is making a cheese-and-pickle sandwich without using a chopping board.

Family in grip of terrible inability to stop eating

A FAMILY are unable to stop eating handfuls of turkey, mince pies and Quality Street despite not being remotely hungry.

Matriarch of vegan polycule making big deal out of carving nut roast

THE female head of a polyamorous vegan household is carving the Christmas dinner nut roast with imperious self-importance.

Matchmakers, Bisto and other low-quality shite that makes a classic British Christmas

THINK Christmas is all about premium food and drink? You’ve clearly never enjoyed the following British festive essentials.

Drunk and bloated by 12pm: your body’s Christmas Day journey

CHRISTMAS Day isn’t about joy and merriment for your body. It’s a punishing marathon of overindulgence it barely survives. Here’s what it goes through.

Whole family bricking it as daughter insists on hosting Christmas this year

A FAMILY are regretting their decision to let daughter Lucy cook Christmas dinner instead of Mum.

Woman violently throwing up tells waitress food was 'lovely, thanks'

A WOMAN vomiting due to food poisoning has reassured her waitress that her food was absolutely delicious and there was nothing wrong whatsoever.

Starbucks unveil Christmas ham-flavoured frappuccino

AS part of their latest line of Christmas flavour beverages, Starbucks have announced a coffee that mimics the taste of an entire roast ham.

I'm not a very good vegetarian, says woman who eats meat three times a day

A WOMAN who describes herself as ‘not a very good vegetarian’ eats meat at every meal without giving it a second thought.

Middle class woman counts cheese as a hobby

A MIDDLE class woman has confused a potential suitor by counting cheese as one of her hobbies and interests.