Food

THE only thing scarier than a pub with bikers and broken glass outside is that same pub with a ‘Try our new tasting menu’ sign. Here are some cuisines that will make you want to stick to crisps.

A BRATTY middle-class child in a gastropub has ordered off-menu with the full approval of his dreadful parents, it has emerged. 

AFTER the Boomer-delighting return to imperial weights and measures the government plans to bring back good old food rationing.

PEOPLE rave about crisp sandwiches and other stupid food concoctions. If that’s you, here are some to stop wanking on about and eat a normal grown-up meal instead.

A WOMAN who is trusting her body to tell her what to eat has discovered it wants an entire sleeve of  biscuits to be consumed in one sitting.

WERE you tricked into ordering a big box of food and some bad recipes with the lie that a meal kit would be cheap and easy? Here are the stages of finding out it’s not.

A WOMAN was left disappointed when she opted to take a man home for a shag instead of ending her night with a doner kebab.

A MAN is reflecting on the death and resurrection of the son of God by eating a Creme Egg, it has emerged.

THE nation's children will have eaten so much Easter chocolate they will be sick by lunchtime, it has been confirmed.

FISH have demanded to know why pescatarians are uncomfortable eating all other animals but fine with chewing up and swallowing their dead flesh.