Society

ABOUT to be swamped by freeloaders in fancy dress? Send trick-or-treaters fleeing in terror with these tips.

SHOPPING online is quicker and more convenient than trudging around town. Plus you'll be able to screw yourself over in these stupid ways.

SATURDAY mornings are precious oases in an otherwise cruel world. Here's how you waste this sacred time each and every week.

POLITICIANS are forever accusing each other of being from North London, and it seems to be a terrible slur. Here’s how I imagine it based on what they say.

WANT to feel good about yourself but can’t be arsed with yoga? Here Waitrose shopper Charlotte Phelps explains why she’s never felt better since discovering her local food bank.

FROM television to shortbread, the Scottish have invented some truly wonderful things. But here are five that should remain north of the border.

BEING an amateur twat is easy, but if you want to go professional you need a host of qualifications, like these.

A MAN from Hull is proud of his tap water's high mineral content, it has emerged.

EVERYTHING can always get so much worse, Britons have been forcibly reminded by events.

A DRIVER has been left enraged by a cyclist’s repeated efforts to avoid getting hit by a car, it has emerged.