Society

TA-DAAAAH! Yep, you thought I was a mere smart meter, your energy usage calculating pal, but actually I’m a prepayment meter!

THE stupidest breeds of dog have been announced, but is your imbecile of a man’s best friend among them?

YOU only learned what ‘goblin mode’ is when pensioners did, and now everyone’s swapping new terminology and you’re nodding like a dickhead at these.

ALL of London’s 12 remaining public toilets will be dismantled and moved to Doncaster as part of the government’s ‘levelling up’ plans to boost the regions.

THE kids would be back at school already if it wasn’t for the pesky inset day. But what are the teachers actually doing during their training?

A MAN who has been dragged to a social event by his wife has silently expressed his need for help from the other side of the room, it has emerged.

A PAIR of grandparents have reacted with disbelief and anger upon being gifted a school photo of their grandchild, it has emerged.

THE season of joy and giving is also a time for knobhead family members to ask insensitive questions, like these.

OLD folk love to remind everyone of the grim Christmases of their childhood which they stoically endured without complaining. But could these memories be lies?

A MAN who left Santa behind decades ago still believes in the magic baby part of Christmas, he has confirmed.