Society

NEXT Monday is a bank holiday, but are Britons obliged to spend it watching the funeral? Your questions answered.

IF you watched a film where princes and kings paraded around in full traditional regalia while peaceful protesters were arrested, it would be too far fetched, experts have agreed.

SETTLING into the school term? Looking to really get your education started by drawing a big old dick in a physics textbook? Follow these steps.

THE loss of a monarch and the instatement of a new ruler comes with pomp, pageantry and wonderful traditions dating back centuries. Look for these.

A HOMEWORKER is refusing to answer questions about where he was and what he was doing when he heard the tragic news.

PRINCE Andrew has reflected that the tragic loss of his beloved mother now means he is only seven further unexpected losses away from becoming King.

HER Majesty the Queen was a woman perfectly in tune with her nation and the nation was in tune with her. She would have wanted us to do all these things.

A MAN is wondering if he is allowed to have a swan now or if they have immediately passed to King Charles.

THE USA has launched into a frenzy of grief and mourning over the Queen's passing that far outweighs our own, it has emerged.

LIVING through monumental historical events is exhausting because they all happen at f**king once, Britain has agreed.